Boxing, Dead or Alive?

If you would have asked me two months ago if boxing were making a comeback, I would have said that it was barely alive and hoping to be put down.  Two fights that were particularly boring, horrible and a complete waste of money:

Pacquiao vs. Bradley
While I may have been the only sane person in the world to pick Bradley, I never imagined the fight would end as it did.  With only three real minutes of action over 12 rounds, Pacquiao let Bradley off the hook and the three blind mice took his title. The Walmart version of a boxing event left everyone with any sense feeling as if they'd purchased a $2 piece of crap made by an 8 year old working in a sweat shop. The undercards were crap and the result of the final match was semi-retarded.

Mayweather vs. Cotto
Nobody believed Cotto would win.  I wanted to.  I prayed to Santa Claus that somehow an undersized, overused, past his prime, once exciting fighter would somehow carry a handgun into the ring and squeak out a win.  Not to be.  Walmart was once again the promoter, manager and presenter with this fight but the cost was more Target than Always Low Prices (r).

Fighters nobody wants to see ever again, ever, never, ever:
Either Klitchsko - While they are the products of Chernobyl (I have an unnatural obsession with the largest manmade nuclear disaster in the history of man), they are horribly boring to watch.  While they may once have been Shaquille O'Neil, they are now Shawn Bradley and Manute Bol.

The Klitschko Brothers

Ricky Hatton - I saw him doing an interview a few months back and he looked like a pale Steven Segal.  If this fool makes weight for his November comeback fight, it will be a Tony Horton miracle.

Steven Sega-Hatton

The semi-youngsters - Corey Spinks, Devon Alexander, all European middleweights.  Boredom at it's finest.

The ancients - Holyfield (please!), Hopkins, British Heavyweights - Audley, please go back to the janitorial supervisor job you held before robbing the public in your last fight.

There is Hope:
Kahn vs. Garcia
Danny Garcia has the perfect trainer.  He's loud, obnoxious, tactless and has no ability to hold his tongue.  He spoke the truth though when he said his son, yes another father/son training combo, would knock Kahn out.  Danny really had no chance through the first couple of rounds...then Garcia hit Kahn square in the glass (jaw) with a ducking, eyes closed swing for the fences left hook.  Neither fighter saw the punch but Garcia followed up with a black rain of death.  Kahn may have brain damage.
 
Dawson v. Ward 
Everyone in the entire world (except Canada and parts of Liberia) saw the Dawson v. Ward fight as laughable, boring and plain dumb.  Ward had never tasted defeat.  Dawson was coming down in weight.  Dawson had just beaten up a geriatric fighter with a gimp mask (Bernard Hopkins).  Ward however, saw to it to beat the dehydrated, legless Dawson into submission.

Bring out the Gimp

Looking back on the fight, Dawson should fire his trainers or at least have them publicly beaten.  When your fighter is getting hammered, you save him.  Never let your fighter bow out on public television and lose face.  Protect your people.  Fighters are strong people so save them and don't let them be recorded saying that they want to quit.  Stupid.  Mr. Ward - go beat up someone your own size or find a way to fight convict Mayweather.  I'd like to see that.

Chavez Jr. vs. Martinez
Last night, Chavez Jr. waited until the last round to lay his hands on Sergio Martinez Sr. (Adding Sr. for effect). The 37 year old Martinez made Chavez look slow and his father look autistic for 11 rounds. There's not much to say about this fight other than the fight reminded me of days long past.  Rather than hold, complain and shake his head like a Mayweather, Martinez came out swinging when he was in trouble.  There's no greater joy than to watch a lopsided fight turn on its head in the last two minutes.  I've maintained for years, mainly to keep me from becoming disillusioned, that there are no 12 round knockouts.  The Meldrick Taylor stoppage in the 12th round against old man Chavez was a horrible call by the way. Thankfully Martinez survived.

Who wouldn't want to see a rematch?

Not Sergio Ramirez

Parting shots - anyone notice that Freddie Roach has lost three championship fights this year? His fault?  Nah, I blame Garcia Sr.'s racist remarks, Chavez's poor training habits and horrible judges for those losses.  Sarcasm intended.

The Greatest British Boxers Ever

Traveling from London to Liverpool gave me the opportunity to write about the five greatest British fighters of all time.  While the sport of boxing may have appeared in relief drawings in the 3rd millennium BC, and Homer (not Simpson) wrote about boxing in the oft-required reading "Iliad," give the British credit for putting some rules around the sport of punching people in the face.

Mayweather slaps and pulls hair
to avoid fighting Pacquiao

Since writing those rules, there have been some dazzling fighters who have not only entertained us with their ring presence but often with a shade of white rarely seen in a country with sunlight. 

Here are my top five (6) British fighters of all time (since I've been alive):

5b. Nigel Benn 48-5-1 (35 KO) Super Middleweight
With a ring name like "The Dark Destroyer," you had to be "not-white" and destroy things which was what Benn did well.  Early in his career, one Chris Eubank, spanked him into delerium but later, he got his much needed revenge with a draw, which for US soccer fans equals a win.  Benn held the WBC title for nearly five years and was a constant fixture in the world rankings.  I promptly thanked him for turning Iran Barkley into drooling, one round mess in 1990 and thank him to this day. 

5a. Chris Eubank 45-5 (23 KO) Super Middleweight
Eubank was a tough, slick fighter that went undefeated for ten years but what stands out in my mind is the receeding hair line that was just freaky.  For many, it had to feel like you were watching your grandfather take on the neighborhood bully.  Regardless he went about his business with a smile and a coke...wait, wrong guy.  Speaking with everyone in the UK, you'll know that he was not only a gentleman but a tough, powerful boxer.  Fortunately for all, he has completely shaved his head.

4. 'Prince' Naseem Hamed 36-1 (31 KO) Featherweight
Throughout the 90s, I tuned in to each of his fights in hopes of watching someone turn this clown into a pez dispenser.  Unfortunately, I would have to wait until 2001 when national hero, Marco Antonio Barrera came to our rescue.  He not only beat Hamed but put him in a full nelson half way through the fight and slammed his face into the corner buckle.  After that All-American (Mexican) whoopin, Hamed was never the same and retired shortly thereafter.  I soon found myself missing the little guy's antics though and hounded him to return.  Regardless of my sheer disgust with Hamed, there's no doubting he was great.  With a KO ratio similar to Mike Tyson and walking around at 5'4" and 126 lbs, that kid had power.  I don't believe he's related to Pippa.

3. Ricky Hatton 45-2 (32 KO) Jr. Welterweight (Welterweight)
With an entire nation of red shirted soccer loving nuts hanging by every massive punch of this little guy, it was hard not to become an instant fan. Like his hometown team, powerhouse Manchester United, Hatton tore through boxing greats like an American roller through Robert Green's dainty hands.  Spending the extra $20 each month for Showtime was worth it to watch this kid fight.  After rolling through the division and watching world champions like Kostya Tszyu crumble under his power, Hatton finally got his shot with the all too familiar Floyd "The Barber" Mayweather.  I prayed long and hard but Hatton was no match for the future felon.  Two fights later and Hatton was yet another dot in the way of Pacman.  With two horrific rounds, Hatton was retired.  He's probably one of my favorite fighters ever due mostly in part by his willingness to fight.

Rooney/Hatton

2. Lennox Lewis HWT - 41-2-1 (32 KO) Heavyweight
For the greater part of his career, most in the United States struggled to figure out Lennox Claudius Lewis' country of origin.  He was born in London, England, represented Canada in the Olympics and had Jamaican parents.  Claudius is a name of Roman origin and Lennox is an air conditioning manufacturer in the United States.  If the naming convention weren't tough enough, two of the greatest heavyweights of the "post greatest heavyweight" era, Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, ran away from Lewis faster than Banksy after painting a girl with a rose on Prince Charles' house.

As Tyson and Holyfield aged, Lennox finally caught up fighting two horribly boring fights with Evander Holyfield and one not surprising destruction bout with Hangover star, Mike Tyson.  Regardless, I rank Lewis as one of the greatest 50 heavyweights of all time and the 2nd best British boxer ever for one simple reason.  After getting his jaw line rotated against Americans McCall and Rahman, Lewis came back and destroyed his conquerors.  He made McCall cry and Rahman sleep.

Good thing it's connected

1. Joe Calzaghe - 46-0 (32 KO) Middleweight
I followed Joe for years and was always amazed by his speed.  As he progressed, however, his power was called into question. He closed out his final seven fights with only 1 knockout which bothered knock out hungry American fans.

For the greater part of his career, he was ducked by the top fighters in the world (USA) such as Roy Jones Jr. and Bernard Hopkins.  After taking apart Olympian Jeff Lacy and beating apple Danish boxer Mikkel Kessler, he finally got his wish.  After two years of boring talk, he finally stepped into the ring with Bernard Hopkins and if life wasn't boring enough watching a Hopkins fight, Calzaghe made it the opposite of better He won a split decision but it was a stinker, caused mostly by Bernard's "put you to sleep" style. 

Ending his career on a high note, Calzaghe, whose names sounds more like Kawasaki, destroyed a broken Roy Jones Jr.  Unlike his predecessors, Calzaghe is still the only undefeated British world champion which is why he's my all time best British boxer in the world, ever.

Kawasaki #1

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh - Vol. 2.01 Biggest Disappointments

After taking a few weeks off to do...stuff, I'm back at it. With the announcement that Mayweather's (Floyd) court date has been pushed back to March and the announcement that uncle Rog (Mayweather) pulled a Wayne Brady, I'm in the mood to discuss my own personal disappointments in boxing.  (If you don't get the Wayne Brady reference, see Dave Chappelle show season 2)

5. Shane Mosley vs. Vernon Forrest (2002)

Shane was an exciting fighter who had that rare mix of speed and the ability to take a punch.  On this day (Jan 26) 9 years ago, Shane was dropped by an uppercut and follow on left hook.  He somehow made it through the knockdown and survived the fight. The knock down upset me so much that I threw one of my daughter's bouncy balls against the wall.  Unfortunately, the ball rebounded and connected with my nose.  If only I'd had an iPhone back then.  I could've been disappointed with both the fight and my phone's inability to make a phone call...all while recording the child's toy hitting me in the face.

4. Michael Grant's Career (1994-2010)
At 6'7", 240 pounds, Michael Grant was the face of a new age of American boxing.  He was clean cut, well spoken and hadn't been to prison.  After 30 beautiful fights, Grant faced Golota and was dropped in the first round not once but twice.  Sitting in my small Denver apartment overlooking the Rocky mountains, I thought about throwing a ball during that 1999 fight but put the idea on hold because Grant came back and won the 10 round fight.  Within the next year, Grant was facing a rejuvenated Lennox Lewis in what was the tallest fight in history (until the Klitchskos and that 7' tall hairy guy). Grant ran across the ring with flailing arms only to find himself with a one inch closeup of Lewis' size thirteens.  He was knocked out in the 2nd round.  After that, his career went straight into the toilet. 

3. Tyson vs. Holyfield II (1997)
Yes, this was the bite fight.  I was sitting in a cramped Brooklyn apartment while my friend and I shuddered in fear, not for Holyfield but for ourselves.  We had strung a 50 ft. coax cable from our apartment, out the window and across the fire escape to a cable splitter tied into the neighbor's pay per view feed.  As soon as the biting occurred, we were out the window onto the fire escape along with 15 other cable thieves, hurriedly dismantling our little technological innovations.  We complained for days for wasting money on a 50 foot coaxial cable. 

2. Roy Jones vs. the NYPD (Richard Frazier-1999)
Frazier had been propped up by the WBC & IBF as a number one contender.  At the age of 40 and with a record of 18-3, Frazier had a better chance of contracting Ebola and being cured within 6 minutes than beating the greatest light heavyweight of our time.  The fight lasted 5 minutes 59 seconds.  Frazier was dropped in round one by a woman cooling herself with a fight program and again in round two by a Roy Jones sneeze.  HBO put so much into the fight that Larry Merchant actually forgot where he was during the buildup video and began bad mouthing the WBC for designating Frazier as a number 1 contender.  Unfortunately, the microphone was on during his little gaff. 

Richard Frazier (who?)

(I sure hope officer Frazier is retired or I may have to lay low in Jersey)

1a. Pacquiao vs. Mayweather (Never)
If this fight ever happens, both fighters could be in their late 40s. That fight will be like watching George Jefferson against Mr. Miyagi.  I'm sure Ralph Macchio would appreciate working as a corner man.

1b.  Larry Holmes vs. Muhammad Ali (1980)
This fight was 3 disappointments wrapped into one.  For those that loved Ali, this was a horrific display of one man's strength and toughness.  Ali took more punches in this fight than any other and couldn't throw more than one punch and/or one insult at a time.  The second disappointment, for those of us who wanted to see Ali dropped, was that Holmes couldn't seem to put "The Greatest" down. Up to this point, Holmes had been sending people to the morgue.  It's true that Larry's looks could send kids running but Ali stood in and took the punches.  The third disappointment was that mini-referee Mills Lane didn't stop the fight earlier.  As the fight dragged on with Holmes connecting on everything he threw, we collectively yelled at the television for mercy.

Boxing Links:
Saddo Boxing

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.6 Mythical Matchups

With the announcement by Manny Pacquiao that he'll be taking on former champion and all around good human being, Shane Mosley, the year is ending with a drop of crystallized urine.  Forget that Mosley hasn't won a fight in nearly two years.  Forget the fact that Mosley lost to Miguel Cotto and Floyd Mayweather, both opponents that Pacquaio has defeated.  (There was no Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight in the ring, but clearly, Pacman is kicking the turd sticks out of him outside the ring).  Manny Pacquiao wants another popular, aging fighter on his already long resume.  Plus he thinks it will help solidify his goal to become the Philippines wealthiest human.

This isn't a fight that anyone with any sense or disposable income wants to see.  We want to see Mayweather do a few years behind bars then come back to mirror the career of Mike Tyson who was knocked out by an aging Lennox Lewis.  To honor Floyd's future career as an ex-con, here are my top five mythical matchups that never happened due to either the space-time continuum or a rash of well contrived excuses.


5. Mike Tyson vs. Muhammad Ali (1971, neutral site - Vientiane, Laos) - These two fighters share a common history...sentences.  Ali was sentenced to 5 years but never served a day.  Tyson was sentenced to 10 years and served three.  Ali spoke in complete sentences. Mike has yet to complete a sentence.  Both were out of boxing for three years.  To catch both of them in their prime is a fight fan's dream.  Tyson wins the first fight by TKO in the 14th.  Two rematches are scheduled.  The next two fights Tyson loses after getting frustrated that he can't hit or see Ali.  After losing, Mike simply states, "I broke my back.  My back is broken...spinal..." 

Video Link: Broke Back Boxing

4. Oscar DeLaHoya & Julio Cesar Chavez vs. Roberto Duran & Alexis Arguello (1980ish - Manchester, England)- This tag team match features North America vs. Central America with US/Mexican DeLaHoya teaming up with the Mexican great Chavez to take on the Nicaraguan/Panamanian duo. In probably the best 30 round fight in history, Chavez bleeds 4 gallons of blood while DeLaHoya's face turns completely red in the first round.  Arguello appears to actually lose weight during the fight as he's fighting more rounds than his partner whose rough beard weighs more than his over sized head.  In a seesaw battle, the Mexican duo outpoint the Central Americans 286 - 284 on all 6 of the judges scorecards. It earns fight of the year honors to the fledgling Home Box Office channel.

3. Sugar Ray Robinson vs. Sugar Shane Mosley vs. Sugar Ray Leonard (1942 - Wellington, New Zealand) - With over 200 fights to his name, Robinson destroys Mosley then a week later dislocates Sugar Ray Leonard's eye on the way to a clean knockout in the 7th round.   Without a doubt, Robinson was the greatest fighter in the history of the sport.  That someone with less than a hundred fights would take the name Sugar is an abomination.  Robinson not only wins both matches but punishes the mouthy Leonard while shunning Shane.  Post fight conversations are limited as the always classy Robinson simply states, "they are both great fighters but they don't deserve the name sugar and that goes for you too Mr. Bert Sugar." 

2. Jack Johnson vs. George Foreman (1914, Leavenworth, KS) - The first black heavyweight champion against a frightening heavyweight champion (pre-grill).  Weighing in at 215 pounds, the fighter known as the Galveston Giant appears smaller than the 225 pound Big George Foreman.  The stare down scares the hell out of everyone in attendance while those listening to the radio have small seizures in response to the silent stare down.  Over the first two rounds, 692 punches are thrown all of which sound like M-80s in a toilet.  The thumps of leather to flesh are sickening but both fighters withstand the damage.  Both fighters agree to sit on their stools from the 5th to the 9th after George complains about the smoky air that he's been forced to breathe.  Foreman loses by knockout in the 17th as Jack Johnson catches him with a bolo punch.  Foreman takes 20 years off then calls Johnson out of retirement.  Johnson agrees to fight left handed and loses in the 12th and final round of the rematch.

1. Muhammad Ali vs. Rocky Marciano (1952, Havana, Cuba) - This could arguably be the best heavyweight match of all time.  Picture a young Marciano in his ill fitting black trunks against a fast moving, fast talking Ali.  The undefeated Brockton Brawler against the Louisville Lip.  Rocky was the blueprint fighter for guys like Frazier and Ali so it would be a great match.  Medieval ticket prices would be somewhere in the $5 range but you'd have to wear a suit, tie and hat..and put up with a smoke cloud the size of Brooklyn.  This fight ends in a draw.  Four rematches ensue. Four draws are recorded and barber shop owners around the world breathe a sigh of relief as they can continue to fuel the fire of who was the greatest of all time.

Happy New Year everyone.  For those of you that don't celebrate the New Year drinking yourselves into a deaf, blind stupor, I wish you the best while driving your drunk brother in law who looks more like Larry the Cable guy than a boxer safely home.

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.5 Dumb Rematches

Christmas is tomorrow and there are two lucky children who will be receiving brand spankin' new 8 ounce Everlast gloves.  I'm still searching for that free gym space so if you're in the neighborhood and want to donate, I'm more than willing to have mass and take up space.

Ridiculous Results
Tavoris Cloud vs. Fulgencio Zuniga, Light heavyweight -   12/17 Miami, FL
Cloud retained the IBF title by nearly shutting out Fulgencio. Nobody cares.


Steve Forbes vs. Roberto Valenzuela, Welterweight - 12/17 Hammond, IN
Stevie "Not that Forbes" Forbes knocked out aging Valenzuela to regain his notoriety as a man who can beat any 55 and 55 fighter.  His new fight name: 2pound.  I don't know if that is a drug reference or the amount of weight he has to lose before every fight.

Hopkins vs. Pascal, Light Heavyweight - 12/18 Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
No article would be complete without mentioning the Hopkins/Pascal wrestling match.  Pascal knocked down the geriatric Hopkins in the 1st and again in the 3rd.  Of course, Hopkins couldn't remember the knockdowns and after seeing the fight from his Closed Caption enabled television, believed he actually won the fight.  Hopkins lost by majority decision as one judge was a few months older than him. 

Hopkins made a good argument stating, "he couldn't knock out a 45 year old..." (paraphrased).  Referring to his loss against Roy Jones Jr. in 1993, he went on to say, "give me 17 years and I'll get my revenge against Pascal if he's man enough to grant me the rematch."

I'm praying that this rematch will never take place. 


Since there are no fights (worth mentioning) this week, here are the dumbest rematches that I can remember:

5. Roy Jones Jr. vs Bernard Hopkins (1993-2010, 17 years)
It took 17 years and 15 pounds for Bernard Hopkins to finally get his revenge.  After 3 knockout losses and diminished hand, body and thinking speed, Jones Jr finally succumbed to the overwhelming holding technique of the master gimp mask wearing wonder that is Bernard Hopkins. 

4. Oscar De La Hoya vs. Julio Cesar Chavez (1996-1998, 2 years 3 months)
For those of us that wanted to see Chavez slap the smile off the Golden Boys' face, we were disappointed to see Chavez begin bleeding from every pore of his face from the start of their first fight.  Chavez, while only 34 years old (78 years old in dog/boxing years), blamed a head butt for the cuts.  His aging eyes couldn't see the blinding hand speed that caused his face bleeding.  Two years later and DeLaHoya was again facing criticism that he hadn't really beat the former Mexican star.  We all knew better and what remained was the shell of a man fighting the savior of boxing in his prime. 

3. Evander Holyfield vs. John Ruiz (2000-2001, 1 year)
If the first fight wasn't boring enough, some genius found a way to bilk the boxing public out of $50 by putting on yet another debacle.  Evander threw 12 good punches the entire first fight and upped the ante in the second fight throwing 13.5 good punches, one of which he landed against himself.  To make matters worse, they fought a third time...and people wonder why boxing is straddling a grave while it's man parts have been scuffed against a big pile of dirt.

2. Lennox Lewis vs.Evander Holyfield (1999-1999, 8 months of pure boredom)
Before losing to John Ruiz, fans prayed to the boxing gods for the return of the giant killer that beat Mike Tyson not once but twice.  Unfortunately, the gods had purchased a new shiny double wide in 1999 which left us all watching a split decision in the first fight and a bad decision in the second fight.  Judge Jerry Roth actually admitted that he fell asleep sometime during the 4th round  of their second fight and just copied judge Chuck Giampa's scorecard.  It's no wonder that these dumb fights prompted Mike Tyson to want to eat Lennox Lewis' children.  It's a good thing Holyfield didn't win as Tyson would have to consider a 7 course meal.

1. Muhammad Ali vs. Sonny Liston (1964-1965, 15 months)
This was the most anticipated match in the history of boxing.  Would the big bear finally exact revenge against the mouthy kid from Kentucky? No.  The crowd of nearly 3,000 (yes, 3,000) saw the St. Louis native dust off a spot in the blue corner so he could lay down and pose for one of the most memorable photos in the history of the sport.  This was not only disappointing but dumb.  Replays of the fight show Liston wandering to the ring like a frightened moose.  Crazy people are scary.   That's a known fact. So I understand that Sonny must have been afraid of losing his soul due to a pre-fight vodoo KFC dance. Rather than rub Ben Gay on his gloves as he did in the first match, he simply executed a flawless back dive into the canvas.  Greg Louganis would've been proud. 

There you have it.  Five fights that I wish I could erase from my memory bank.  I may need that space back someday as I plan on transporting data illegally like Johnny Mnemonic before he was released from the Matrix.

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.4 Past Their Prime

Welcome to the week after the last week of boxing...almost.

Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) is the time of year when boxers lick their wounds, celebrate with a few loyal friends and dream of being back in the gym.  While there are a few shopping days left, there's really only one weekend of boxing remaining before the sweet science is history for 2010.  I'm not big on the "year in review" thing but I'm sure something will bite me in the butt next week and get me writing about matches we saw and matches we missed during 2010.  As for this week, results and my thoughts on those fighters (modern day) who fought way past their prime.

Ridiculous Results
UFC 124
The not so ridiculous results begins with Georges St. Pierre beating Kosheck for 5 rounds.  The fight was never in doubt as St. Pierre remains the pre-adultry Tiger Woods (if ever there was a thing) of MMA... I picked correctly knowing that someone with unnatural curly blond hair could never win a big match.

In the undercard, I was disappointed in the "big sexy" as his Internet Savvy did nothing for him as he lost consciousness in the first round.  Too much staring at a monitor and not enough training.

Upcoming Matches to Follow:
Tavoris Cloud vs. Fulgencio Zuniga, Light heavyweight -   12/17 Miami, FL
Another match up that would be worth watching if George Foreman and Emmanuel Steward were the announcers.

Steve Forbes vs. Roberto Valenzuela, Welterweight - 12/17 Hammond, IN
A former world champion who's been kicked in the teeth lately is fighting a dude with 55 wins and 55 losses.  I can't imagine Roberto's trainer saying much more than, "hey, this will get you over 500."

And...the dumbest fight I've seen since Hopkins vs. Jones Jr. is:

Hopkins vs. Pascal, Light Heavyweight - 12/18 Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
The 200 year old Hopkins is going for his 100th world title as he takes on a French Canadian fighter whose last KO was two years ago over a bum with narcolepsy.  The WBC and IBO Light Heavyweight titles are on the line and if Hopkins doesn't fall asleep or break a hip, I'm sure one of the 10 people watching this fight will...fall asleep.

Oh yeah, it's in Canada because there's an age and bone density limit for boxers in the US.

Dingbat of the week:
The Hopkins/Pascal Promoter - whatever promoter thought this was a good idea is just a dingbat.  While most of us old guys marvel at Hopkins' ability to walk without a cane, we sure as hell don't want to see him fight.

Bernard Hopkins - Look BERNARD, the longer you fight, the longer we have to put up with the stuttering mental midget that resides in Evander Holyfield's body.  We all know why Evander fights - yes, child support for a full 53 man roster but why do you continue to make us wish for the days when you only held onto your opponent 25 times a round instead of the 52 of today?  Let's just hope you wear the gimp mask.  Do it for the kiddies nard dog.

Serious Article of the Week
Past their Prime
All too often boxers, fighters and 80s sitcom stars continue well past their prime.  Unlike television though, boxers who continue past their prime suffer long term damage that makes it's nearly impossible to enjoy watching them take said damage.  In all seriousness, boxing is a sport that is all too often very damaging to the participants.  Unlike most major professional sports, coaches, trainers and medical staff are not always qualified.  Boxers are encouraged to push through pain, injuries and fight when they are not ready or when they are overweight.  This leads to irrevocable damage that is often irreversible.  Most fighters are paid in peanuts (low end tickets) and are forced to train under grueling, substandard conditions.  For those that are fortunate enough to make it through the lean years and make it to a somewhat decent payday, they still face the thought of being a tailor made opponent for some rising star. 

With that in mind, here are my top modern fighters that fought well past their prime (the positioning is really interchangeable):

5. Roy Jones Jr.- For years we watched the magical grace, speed and bravado of one of the greatest light heavyweight fighters of our time.  At first I hated everything about Jones but as his career progressed, I began to understand the method to his madness.  Regardless, I always thought that his defense was atrocious and that one day he'd get caught.  After being asked if he had any excuses, Tarver turned out Jones' lights in round 2 of their second fight.  Jones was never the same, suffering a horrifying 9th round nap in his next fight against an aging Glen Johnson.  Extending his career well past his prime, Roy was once again put to pasture by closing his eyes in round 1 against a relative unknown.  The fight against the Nard Dog was an embarrassment to the sport.
61 fights, 404 rounds, 21 years

4. Mike Tyson - There's not a person on the planet that doesn't know the name Mike Tyson. Whether by his appearance on the movie The Hangover or the greatness that made him the youngest heavyweight champion ever, Mike Tyson is a required name in the history of history.  His early career was ferocious until Buster Douglas fought out of his mind in Tokyo to take the unified title and his invincibility away from him.  Tyson then became the golden goose for every con man in the game until his losses and tirades became embarrassing.  Prison made him a changed man and helped him to unleash his inner idiot as he threatened, stomped, cried and explained his way to a WWE stint.  A sad story, he persists finding new ways to reinvent himself.
58 fights, 217 rounds, 20 years

3. Roberto Duran - He was a nightmare to face at lightweight and was a bad dream fighting at 170 pounds.Once known for his rousing win against Sugar Ray Leonard, he became the greatest quitter of all time refusing to get off his stool after the eighth in the rematch with a phrase that gringos around the world utter, "no mas."  One can argue that after that fight, he was never the same.  He went on to lose against every big name in the 80s and 90s.  Hagler, Hearns, Leonard, Pazienza, Camacho and the knockout loss to William Joppy put a dark cloud over what was otherwise a stellar career.  The shining moment after the Leonard loss was winning the middleweight title against Iran Barkley only to lose it again 10 months later.
119 fights, 822 rounds, 33 years 

2. Muhammad Ali - 550 rounds and 21 years of combat summarized the self proclaimed "greatest" career.  He fought everyone in the book and became a giant killer.  You either loved him or hated him but in the end, we all begged someone in the arena to stop the beating he took from Larry Holmes.  While he was never truly knocked out, he took so much damage that it's been suggested he suffered Parkinson's disease from repeated shots to the head. While he was forced to take 3 of his best year's off between 1967 and 1970, the aging process stops for no one.
61 fights, 550 rounds, 21 years


1. Julio Cesar Chavez - Chavez embodies everything great about the Mexican people.  He was strong, tough, fast and enduring.  After 115 fights with over 630 rounds boxed in a career that spanned over 25 years, I'm surprised that the man can still breathe.  Of course, by the time he ran into Oscar DeLaHoya in 1996, he was already a shot fighter.  Their second fight was nothing more than a bloodbath as Chavez began bleeding early while Kostya Tszyu nearly killed him in their fight a few years later.  Promoter Bob Arum attempted to showcase a series of farewell fights but there's no senior's game in boxing.  It's doubtful that we'll ever see a fighter quite like him.  His style and strength in the ring is something that will never be forgotten.
115 fights, 630 rounds, 25 years

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Contact Information:
Aaron Weissenfluh - writer, publisher, editor, fighter, trainer, dude
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Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.3 The Fighter

Welcome to week 3.  Honestly, I'm surprised I've stuck with it this long.  Nevertheless, I'm making it a habit and pressing forward.

First off, results from fights around the world that I neither witnessed or read about...which provides a fresh unbiased perspective:

Ridiculous Results:

• Shamone "The Truth" Alvarez brought tears to the eyes of Michael Jackson fans as he lost a split decision to Ghanaian Ayi Bruce, whose name sounds...well...fun.

And now the most ridiculous result ever:

• Oliver McCall def. Fres Oquendo, yes, you read that right

Oliver McCall, if you'll remember, was highlighted over and over throughout the career of one Lennox Lewis. McCall KO'd Lewis in the 2nd round of their first fight in 1994.  Three years later and the much anticipated rematch saw a weeping Oliver McCall wander the ring in between the 3rd, 4th and 5th rounds.  One minute into the 5th and McCall has his hands down and Mills Lane is forced to stop the fight. McCall later explained ''My strategy was -- and I know it sounds kind of absurd -- was a kind of rope-a-dope.''

Uh, ok.

McCall is now 45 - notable losses: Timur Ibragimov, Juan Carlos Gomez, DaVarryl Williamson (Great guy from Colorado whom I still call a friend), Lennox Lewis, Frank Bruno, Tony Tucker, Orlin Norris, Buster Douglas (yes, he's that old), some guy named Mike Hunter and some bouncer named Joey Christjohn.

Video Link: Tears are falling 

Fres Oquendo was once a contender.  He, however, succumbed to the powerless punching master of credit cards known as John Ruiz.  Granted, David Tua turned his head into a Pez dispenser 2 years prior but his losses include: Chris Byrd, John Ruiz, the geriatric Evander Holyfield, fat ass now MMA master James Toney (weighing in at 230lbs), then finally Jean Marc Momeck.

How they were fighting for the IBF Inter-Continential aka...Aaron's backyard fight championship...heavyweight title was beyond me.

Upcoming Matches to Follow:

Of course the biggest fight this weekend is in the UFC.

11 December 2010 - Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Kosheck
This is just another example of how the UFC is doing something right and the world of boxing doing everything wrong.  McCall vs. Oquendo or two guys who've never seen a rotary dial phone?

UFC Fight Link: Dec 11 Fight Card

St. Pierre is the Tiger Woods of MMA (minus the model wife who apparently lost her appeal).  He does everything right and doesn't back down from a challenge.  He trains hard and is a well balanced fighter who has a ton of energy who is always fun to watch.  Kosheck just has really weird hair at the moment.  I'd cheer against him regardless but the blond curly mop reminds me of that Finnegan character I mentioned last week.  I'm guessing that all too unmanly haircut is all the rage with athletes these days.

The undercard that I'm really excited about is Stefan Struve vs. Sean McCorkle. 

McCorkle has an Irish (or Scottish) sounding name so he's my obvious pick. In addition, he stands 6'7" and weighs 265 pounds.  What's more, his fighting name is, get this, "The Big Sexy." On the UFC site, he lists his strengths as Size, Strength and "very Internet Savvy."  This is truly a complete man who has won my allegiance.

Stefan Struve, who goes by the name Skyscraper, stands at 6'11" and is 238 pounds.  This match up is looking more like Yao Ming vs. Shaq than something you'd see in the UFC and I love it. 

Dingbat of the week:
Julian Assange.  Why?  Because he's detracting from all the news worthy news such as Mayweather being arrested or something to do with Tony Romo's lack of love life now that his shoulder/career has been demolished. For some reason I can't stop calling Tony Romo, Steve Bono.  (Apolo Anton Ohno, Sonny Bono, the real Bono...guess that's pronounced Baano)

Serious Article of the week (finally):
If you've stuck with me this long, you're a saint.  As you've probably witnessed over the past several weeks, the movie The Fighter, featuring Marky Mark and Batman, is due out this month.  The story is about one of the most entertaining, tough and rugged fighters of our era, Mickey Ward.  I first saw Mickey Ward in 1994 when he was in the midst of a four loss slump.  By that time, he had amassed a 21 win, 7 loss record, which by today's standards makes him a punching bag.  Ward plodded on regardless of the poundings and heartbreaking decisions knocking out his next five no-name opponents.  For his efforts, Ward earned a shot at the WBU Intercontinental Light Welterweight title.  Writing this title, I feel like the pedantic wanna be socialite ordering some sort of exotic coffee at Starbucks.

Ward won the title and went on a 9 fight winning streak until he came up against Vince Phillips, the 140 pound IBF champion.  The fight was called in the 3rd after nearly nine minutes of Ward bleeding all over Phillips.  That fight caught the attention of boxing "experts" and contenders throughout the world.  Ward, who marched forward with a typical "punch me five times and I'll punch you once" style, became a fan favorite.  He lost to Zab Judah in a boring run and hide fight but received another shot at a world title against a true Irishman from Ireland (not Boston) in none other than the city of London.  Ward made short work of Shea Neary knocking him out in the 8th by nearly taking his head off with a devastating right hook that made me laugh, spit out beer then cry two tears.

I was happy for Mickey but his success would not last more than five months.  He was robbed in a fight against Antonio Diaz that was so close that only a French figure skating judge could make the call.  After that fight, I figured that the dejected Ward would pull up his tent stakes and go the way of Joey Gamache, another north eastern fighter who suffered one of the most horrifying knockouts I'd ever seen by the hands of none other than Arturo Gatti.  While I truly loved Gatti, I hated to see Gamache in that state.  Gatti had miraculously weighed in the night before at 140 pounds then somehow gained 20 plus pounds in 24 hours.  The fight was basically a middle weight against a lightweight.  A word of caution, if you've not seen this before, it's a truly horrible knockout.

Gamache vs. Gatti KO

After Ward's loss to Diaz, he was back in the ring with Jesse James Leija who had just pummeled baby Camacho to a "No Contest."  The fight was stopped on cuts after the 4th and went to the score cards.  Ward, once again was on the short end.  Again, his career looked to be over but HBO devised a non-title contest between Gatti and Ward, two punchers who gave up the art of ducking.  It was Italian vs. Irish and the country became polarized.  You were either a Gatti fan or a Ward fan.  I was in the Gatti camp as I had been for ten plus years but Ward dashed my hopes by beating Gatti in 10 rounds of brutal action.  It was designated as the fight of the year by HBO.  Both fighters landed in the hospital but for some strange reason, they were back at it again within seven months.

The second fight was another brutal match up.  World champions such as Mayweather, were all but forgotten during this time period.  The country was no longer polarized as we all fell in love with the fighters and the match.  The Morales vs. Barrera fight paled in comparison to Gatti/Ward.  All fights in the history of the sport would be compared to this perfectly matched fight.  Gatti took the second fight and again, both fighters ended up in the hospital.  Seven months later and they were back at it again.  Ward took over 350 punches and ended up in the hospital.  Gatti won the rubber match but both fighters lost a piece of themselves. Following the fight, in which he said was his last, Ward clearly stated, "why'd I pick this sport?"

Video Link: Postfight - Mickey Ward

In the hospital, both fighters laughed and talked while sitting in beds adjacent to each other.  They became life long friends with Ward attending the rest of Gatti's fights.  Gatti died in July 2009 in what was called a suicide but what many believe to be murder. 

"I was absolutely stunned -- I couldn't believe it, it's still kind of hard to believe," Ward told ESPN's Brian Kenny. "It's really hard to take."

Ward went on to say,  "When we went in there and we fought, we tried to take each other's head off, but outside the ring we had respect for each other," Ward said. "After the three fights we had it built into a better friendship, a long-lasting relationship."

I just hope the movie "The Fighter" due out on December 17th does both Mickey Ward AND Arturo Gatti justice.

The Fighter

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Aaron Weissenfluh - writer, publisher, editor, fighter, trainer, dude
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