The Greatest British Boxers Ever

Traveling from London to Liverpool gave me the opportunity to write about the five greatest British fighters of all time.  While the sport of boxing may have appeared in relief drawings in the 3rd millennium BC, and Homer (not Simpson) wrote about boxing in the oft-required reading "Iliad," give the British credit for putting some rules around the sport of punching people in the face.

Mayweather slaps and pulls hair
to avoid fighting Pacquiao

Since writing those rules, there have been some dazzling fighters who have not only entertained us with their ring presence but often with a shade of white rarely seen in a country with sunlight. 

Here are my top five (6) British fighters of all time (since I've been alive):

5b. Nigel Benn 48-5-1 (35 KO) Super Middleweight
With a ring name like "The Dark Destroyer," you had to be "not-white" and destroy things which was what Benn did well.  Early in his career, one Chris Eubank, spanked him into delerium but later, he got his much needed revenge with a draw, which for US soccer fans equals a win.  Benn held the WBC title for nearly five years and was a constant fixture in the world rankings.  I promptly thanked him for turning Iran Barkley into drooling, one round mess in 1990 and thank him to this day. 

5a. Chris Eubank 45-5 (23 KO) Super Middleweight
Eubank was a tough, slick fighter that went undefeated for ten years but what stands out in my mind is the receeding hair line that was just freaky.  For many, it had to feel like you were watching your grandfather take on the neighborhood bully.  Regardless he went about his business with a smile and a coke...wait, wrong guy.  Speaking with everyone in the UK, you'll know that he was not only a gentleman but a tough, powerful boxer.  Fortunately for all, he has completely shaved his head.

4. 'Prince' Naseem Hamed 36-1 (31 KO) Featherweight
Throughout the 90s, I tuned in to each of his fights in hopes of watching someone turn this clown into a pez dispenser.  Unfortunately, I would have to wait until 2001 when national hero, Marco Antonio Barrera came to our rescue.  He not only beat Hamed but put him in a full nelson half way through the fight and slammed his face into the corner buckle.  After that All-American (Mexican) whoopin, Hamed was never the same and retired shortly thereafter.  I soon found myself missing the little guy's antics though and hounded him to return.  Regardless of my sheer disgust with Hamed, there's no doubting he was great.  With a KO ratio similar to Mike Tyson and walking around at 5'4" and 126 lbs, that kid had power.  I don't believe he's related to Pippa.

3. Ricky Hatton 45-2 (32 KO) Jr. Welterweight (Welterweight)
With an entire nation of red shirted soccer loving nuts hanging by every massive punch of this little guy, it was hard not to become an instant fan. Like his hometown team, powerhouse Manchester United, Hatton tore through boxing greats like an American roller through Robert Green's dainty hands.  Spending the extra $20 each month for Showtime was worth it to watch this kid fight.  After rolling through the division and watching world champions like Kostya Tszyu crumble under his power, Hatton finally got his shot with the all too familiar Floyd "The Barber" Mayweather.  I prayed long and hard but Hatton was no match for the future felon.  Two fights later and Hatton was yet another dot in the way of Pacman.  With two horrific rounds, Hatton was retired.  He's probably one of my favorite fighters ever due mostly in part by his willingness to fight.

Rooney/Hatton

2. Lennox Lewis HWT - 41-2-1 (32 KO) Heavyweight
For the greater part of his career, most in the United States struggled to figure out Lennox Claudius Lewis' country of origin.  He was born in London, England, represented Canada in the Olympics and had Jamaican parents.  Claudius is a name of Roman origin and Lennox is an air conditioning manufacturer in the United States.  If the naming convention weren't tough enough, two of the greatest heavyweights of the "post greatest heavyweight" era, Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, ran away from Lewis faster than Banksy after painting a girl with a rose on Prince Charles' house.

As Tyson and Holyfield aged, Lennox finally caught up fighting two horribly boring fights with Evander Holyfield and one not surprising destruction bout with Hangover star, Mike Tyson.  Regardless, I rank Lewis as one of the greatest 50 heavyweights of all time and the 2nd best British boxer ever for one simple reason.  After getting his jaw line rotated against Americans McCall and Rahman, Lewis came back and destroyed his conquerors.  He made McCall cry and Rahman sleep.

Good thing it's connected

1. Joe Calzaghe - 46-0 (32 KO) Middleweight
I followed Joe for years and was always amazed by his speed.  As he progressed, however, his power was called into question. He closed out his final seven fights with only 1 knockout which bothered knock out hungry American fans.

For the greater part of his career, he was ducked by the top fighters in the world (USA) such as Roy Jones Jr. and Bernard Hopkins.  After taking apart Olympian Jeff Lacy and beating apple Danish boxer Mikkel Kessler, he finally got his wish.  After two years of boring talk, he finally stepped into the ring with Bernard Hopkins and if life wasn't boring enough watching a Hopkins fight, Calzaghe made it the opposite of better He won a split decision but it was a stinker, caused mostly by Bernard's "put you to sleep" style. 

Ending his career on a high note, Calzaghe, whose names sounds more like Kawasaki, destroyed a broken Roy Jones Jr.  Unlike his predecessors, Calzaghe is still the only undefeated British world champion which is why he's my all time best British boxer in the world, ever.

Kawasaki #1

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh - Vol. 2.01 Biggest Disappointments

After taking a few weeks off to do...stuff, I'm back at it. With the announcement that Mayweather's (Floyd) court date has been pushed back to March and the announcement that uncle Rog (Mayweather) pulled a Wayne Brady, I'm in the mood to discuss my own personal disappointments in boxing.  (If you don't get the Wayne Brady reference, see Dave Chappelle show season 2)

5. Shane Mosley vs. Vernon Forrest (2002)

Shane was an exciting fighter who had that rare mix of speed and the ability to take a punch.  On this day (Jan 26) 9 years ago, Shane was dropped by an uppercut and follow on left hook.  He somehow made it through the knockdown and survived the fight. The knock down upset me so much that I threw one of my daughter's bouncy balls against the wall.  Unfortunately, the ball rebounded and connected with my nose.  If only I'd had an iPhone back then.  I could've been disappointed with both the fight and my phone's inability to make a phone call...all while recording the child's toy hitting me in the face.

4. Michael Grant's Career (1994-2010)
At 6'7", 240 pounds, Michael Grant was the face of a new age of American boxing.  He was clean cut, well spoken and hadn't been to prison.  After 30 beautiful fights, Grant faced Golota and was dropped in the first round not once but twice.  Sitting in my small Denver apartment overlooking the Rocky mountains, I thought about throwing a ball during that 1999 fight but put the idea on hold because Grant came back and won the 10 round fight.  Within the next year, Grant was facing a rejuvenated Lennox Lewis in what was the tallest fight in history (until the Klitchskos and that 7' tall hairy guy). Grant ran across the ring with flailing arms only to find himself with a one inch closeup of Lewis' size thirteens.  He was knocked out in the 2nd round.  After that, his career went straight into the toilet. 

3. Tyson vs. Holyfield II (1997)
Yes, this was the bite fight.  I was sitting in a cramped Brooklyn apartment while my friend and I shuddered in fear, not for Holyfield but for ourselves.  We had strung a 50 ft. coax cable from our apartment, out the window and across the fire escape to a cable splitter tied into the neighbor's pay per view feed.  As soon as the biting occurred, we were out the window onto the fire escape along with 15 other cable thieves, hurriedly dismantling our little technological innovations.  We complained for days for wasting money on a 50 foot coaxial cable. 

2. Roy Jones vs. the NYPD (Richard Frazier-1999)
Frazier had been propped up by the WBC & IBF as a number one contender.  At the age of 40 and with a record of 18-3, Frazier had a better chance of contracting Ebola and being cured within 6 minutes than beating the greatest light heavyweight of our time.  The fight lasted 5 minutes 59 seconds.  Frazier was dropped in round one by a woman cooling herself with a fight program and again in round two by a Roy Jones sneeze.  HBO put so much into the fight that Larry Merchant actually forgot where he was during the buildup video and began bad mouthing the WBC for designating Frazier as a number 1 contender.  Unfortunately, the microphone was on during his little gaff. 

Richard Frazier (who?)

(I sure hope officer Frazier is retired or I may have to lay low in Jersey)

1a. Pacquiao vs. Mayweather (Never)
If this fight ever happens, both fighters could be in their late 40s. That fight will be like watching George Jefferson against Mr. Miyagi.  I'm sure Ralph Macchio would appreciate working as a corner man.

1b.  Larry Holmes vs. Muhammad Ali (1980)
This fight was 3 disappointments wrapped into one.  For those that loved Ali, this was a horrific display of one man's strength and toughness.  Ali took more punches in this fight than any other and couldn't throw more than one punch and/or one insult at a time.  The second disappointment, for those of us who wanted to see Ali dropped, was that Holmes couldn't seem to put "The Greatest" down. Up to this point, Holmes had been sending people to the morgue.  It's true that Larry's looks could send kids running but Ali stood in and took the punches.  The third disappointment was that mini-referee Mills Lane didn't stop the fight earlier.  As the fight dragged on with Holmes connecting on everything he threw, we collectively yelled at the television for mercy.

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