Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.6 Mythical Matchups

With the announcement by Manny Pacquiao that he'll be taking on former champion and all around good human being, Shane Mosley, the year is ending with a drop of crystallized urine.  Forget that Mosley hasn't won a fight in nearly two years.  Forget the fact that Mosley lost to Miguel Cotto and Floyd Mayweather, both opponents that Pacquaio has defeated.  (There was no Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight in the ring, but clearly, Pacman is kicking the turd sticks out of him outside the ring).  Manny Pacquiao wants another popular, aging fighter on his already long resume.  Plus he thinks it will help solidify his goal to become the Philippines wealthiest human.

This isn't a fight that anyone with any sense or disposable income wants to see.  We want to see Mayweather do a few years behind bars then come back to mirror the career of Mike Tyson who was knocked out by an aging Lennox Lewis.  To honor Floyd's future career as an ex-con, here are my top five mythical matchups that never happened due to either the space-time continuum or a rash of well contrived excuses.


5. Mike Tyson vs. Muhammad Ali (1971, neutral site - Vientiane, Laos) - These two fighters share a common history...sentences.  Ali was sentenced to 5 years but never served a day.  Tyson was sentenced to 10 years and served three.  Ali spoke in complete sentences. Mike has yet to complete a sentence.  Both were out of boxing for three years.  To catch both of them in their prime is a fight fan's dream.  Tyson wins the first fight by TKO in the 14th.  Two rematches are scheduled.  The next two fights Tyson loses after getting frustrated that he can't hit or see Ali.  After losing, Mike simply states, "I broke my back.  My back is broken...spinal..." 

Video Link: Broke Back Boxing

4. Oscar DeLaHoya & Julio Cesar Chavez vs. Roberto Duran & Alexis Arguello (1980ish - Manchester, England)- This tag team match features North America vs. Central America with US/Mexican DeLaHoya teaming up with the Mexican great Chavez to take on the Nicaraguan/Panamanian duo. In probably the best 30 round fight in history, Chavez bleeds 4 gallons of blood while DeLaHoya's face turns completely red in the first round.  Arguello appears to actually lose weight during the fight as he's fighting more rounds than his partner whose rough beard weighs more than his over sized head.  In a seesaw battle, the Mexican duo outpoint the Central Americans 286 - 284 on all 6 of the judges scorecards. It earns fight of the year honors to the fledgling Home Box Office channel.

3. Sugar Ray Robinson vs. Sugar Shane Mosley vs. Sugar Ray Leonard (1942 - Wellington, New Zealand) - With over 200 fights to his name, Robinson destroys Mosley then a week later dislocates Sugar Ray Leonard's eye on the way to a clean knockout in the 7th round.   Without a doubt, Robinson was the greatest fighter in the history of the sport.  That someone with less than a hundred fights would take the name Sugar is an abomination.  Robinson not only wins both matches but punishes the mouthy Leonard while shunning Shane.  Post fight conversations are limited as the always classy Robinson simply states, "they are both great fighters but they don't deserve the name sugar and that goes for you too Mr. Bert Sugar." 

2. Jack Johnson vs. George Foreman (1914, Leavenworth, KS) - The first black heavyweight champion against a frightening heavyweight champion (pre-grill).  Weighing in at 215 pounds, the fighter known as the Galveston Giant appears smaller than the 225 pound Big George Foreman.  The stare down scares the hell out of everyone in attendance while those listening to the radio have small seizures in response to the silent stare down.  Over the first two rounds, 692 punches are thrown all of which sound like M-80s in a toilet.  The thumps of leather to flesh are sickening but both fighters withstand the damage.  Both fighters agree to sit on their stools from the 5th to the 9th after George complains about the smoky air that he's been forced to breathe.  Foreman loses by knockout in the 17th as Jack Johnson catches him with a bolo punch.  Foreman takes 20 years off then calls Johnson out of retirement.  Johnson agrees to fight left handed and loses in the 12th and final round of the rematch.

1. Muhammad Ali vs. Rocky Marciano (1952, Havana, Cuba) - This could arguably be the best heavyweight match of all time.  Picture a young Marciano in his ill fitting black trunks against a fast moving, fast talking Ali.  The undefeated Brockton Brawler against the Louisville Lip.  Rocky was the blueprint fighter for guys like Frazier and Ali so it would be a great match.  Medieval ticket prices would be somewhere in the $5 range but you'd have to wear a suit, tie and hat..and put up with a smoke cloud the size of Brooklyn.  This fight ends in a draw.  Four rematches ensue. Four draws are recorded and barber shop owners around the world breathe a sigh of relief as they can continue to fuel the fire of who was the greatest of all time.

Happy New Year everyone.  For those of you that don't celebrate the New Year drinking yourselves into a deaf, blind stupor, I wish you the best while driving your drunk brother in law who looks more like Larry the Cable guy than a boxer safely home.

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.5 Dumb Rematches

Christmas is tomorrow and there are two lucky children who will be receiving brand spankin' new 8 ounce Everlast gloves.  I'm still searching for that free gym space so if you're in the neighborhood and want to donate, I'm more than willing to have mass and take up space.

Ridiculous Results
Tavoris Cloud vs. Fulgencio Zuniga, Light heavyweight -   12/17 Miami, FL
Cloud retained the IBF title by nearly shutting out Fulgencio. Nobody cares.


Steve Forbes vs. Roberto Valenzuela, Welterweight - 12/17 Hammond, IN
Stevie "Not that Forbes" Forbes knocked out aging Valenzuela to regain his notoriety as a man who can beat any 55 and 55 fighter.  His new fight name: 2pound.  I don't know if that is a drug reference or the amount of weight he has to lose before every fight.

Hopkins vs. Pascal, Light Heavyweight - 12/18 Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
No article would be complete without mentioning the Hopkins/Pascal wrestling match.  Pascal knocked down the geriatric Hopkins in the 1st and again in the 3rd.  Of course, Hopkins couldn't remember the knockdowns and after seeing the fight from his Closed Caption enabled television, believed he actually won the fight.  Hopkins lost by majority decision as one judge was a few months older than him. 

Hopkins made a good argument stating, "he couldn't knock out a 45 year old..." (paraphrased).  Referring to his loss against Roy Jones Jr. in 1993, he went on to say, "give me 17 years and I'll get my revenge against Pascal if he's man enough to grant me the rematch."

I'm praying that this rematch will never take place. 


Since there are no fights (worth mentioning) this week, here are the dumbest rematches that I can remember:

5. Roy Jones Jr. vs Bernard Hopkins (1993-2010, 17 years)
It took 17 years and 15 pounds for Bernard Hopkins to finally get his revenge.  After 3 knockout losses and diminished hand, body and thinking speed, Jones Jr finally succumbed to the overwhelming holding technique of the master gimp mask wearing wonder that is Bernard Hopkins. 

4. Oscar De La Hoya vs. Julio Cesar Chavez (1996-1998, 2 years 3 months)
For those of us that wanted to see Chavez slap the smile off the Golden Boys' face, we were disappointed to see Chavez begin bleeding from every pore of his face from the start of their first fight.  Chavez, while only 34 years old (78 years old in dog/boxing years), blamed a head butt for the cuts.  His aging eyes couldn't see the blinding hand speed that caused his face bleeding.  Two years later and DeLaHoya was again facing criticism that he hadn't really beat the former Mexican star.  We all knew better and what remained was the shell of a man fighting the savior of boxing in his prime. 

3. Evander Holyfield vs. John Ruiz (2000-2001, 1 year)
If the first fight wasn't boring enough, some genius found a way to bilk the boxing public out of $50 by putting on yet another debacle.  Evander threw 12 good punches the entire first fight and upped the ante in the second fight throwing 13.5 good punches, one of which he landed against himself.  To make matters worse, they fought a third time...and people wonder why boxing is straddling a grave while it's man parts have been scuffed against a big pile of dirt.

2. Lennox Lewis vs.Evander Holyfield (1999-1999, 8 months of pure boredom)
Before losing to John Ruiz, fans prayed to the boxing gods for the return of the giant killer that beat Mike Tyson not once but twice.  Unfortunately, the gods had purchased a new shiny double wide in 1999 which left us all watching a split decision in the first fight and a bad decision in the second fight.  Judge Jerry Roth actually admitted that he fell asleep sometime during the 4th round  of their second fight and just copied judge Chuck Giampa's scorecard.  It's no wonder that these dumb fights prompted Mike Tyson to want to eat Lennox Lewis' children.  It's a good thing Holyfield didn't win as Tyson would have to consider a 7 course meal.

1. Muhammad Ali vs. Sonny Liston (1964-1965, 15 months)
This was the most anticipated match in the history of boxing.  Would the big bear finally exact revenge against the mouthy kid from Kentucky? No.  The crowd of nearly 3,000 (yes, 3,000) saw the St. Louis native dust off a spot in the blue corner so he could lay down and pose for one of the most memorable photos in the history of the sport.  This was not only disappointing but dumb.  Replays of the fight show Liston wandering to the ring like a frightened moose.  Crazy people are scary.   That's a known fact. So I understand that Sonny must have been afraid of losing his soul due to a pre-fight vodoo KFC dance. Rather than rub Ben Gay on his gloves as he did in the first match, he simply executed a flawless back dive into the canvas.  Greg Louganis would've been proud. 

There you have it.  Five fights that I wish I could erase from my memory bank.  I may need that space back someday as I plan on transporting data illegally like Johnny Mnemonic before he was released from the Matrix.

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.4 Past Their Prime

Welcome to the week after the last week of boxing...almost.

Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) is the time of year when boxers lick their wounds, celebrate with a few loyal friends and dream of being back in the gym.  While there are a few shopping days left, there's really only one weekend of boxing remaining before the sweet science is history for 2010.  I'm not big on the "year in review" thing but I'm sure something will bite me in the butt next week and get me writing about matches we saw and matches we missed during 2010.  As for this week, results and my thoughts on those fighters (modern day) who fought way past their prime.

Ridiculous Results
UFC 124
The not so ridiculous results begins with Georges St. Pierre beating Kosheck for 5 rounds.  The fight was never in doubt as St. Pierre remains the pre-adultry Tiger Woods (if ever there was a thing) of MMA... I picked correctly knowing that someone with unnatural curly blond hair could never win a big match.

In the undercard, I was disappointed in the "big sexy" as his Internet Savvy did nothing for him as he lost consciousness in the first round.  Too much staring at a monitor and not enough training.

Upcoming Matches to Follow:
Tavoris Cloud vs. Fulgencio Zuniga, Light heavyweight -   12/17 Miami, FL
Another match up that would be worth watching if George Foreman and Emmanuel Steward were the announcers.

Steve Forbes vs. Roberto Valenzuela, Welterweight - 12/17 Hammond, IN
A former world champion who's been kicked in the teeth lately is fighting a dude with 55 wins and 55 losses.  I can't imagine Roberto's trainer saying much more than, "hey, this will get you over 500."

And...the dumbest fight I've seen since Hopkins vs. Jones Jr. is:

Hopkins vs. Pascal, Light Heavyweight - 12/18 Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
The 200 year old Hopkins is going for his 100th world title as he takes on a French Canadian fighter whose last KO was two years ago over a bum with narcolepsy.  The WBC and IBO Light Heavyweight titles are on the line and if Hopkins doesn't fall asleep or break a hip, I'm sure one of the 10 people watching this fight will...fall asleep.

Oh yeah, it's in Canada because there's an age and bone density limit for boxers in the US.

Dingbat of the week:
The Hopkins/Pascal Promoter - whatever promoter thought this was a good idea is just a dingbat.  While most of us old guys marvel at Hopkins' ability to walk without a cane, we sure as hell don't want to see him fight.

Bernard Hopkins - Look BERNARD, the longer you fight, the longer we have to put up with the stuttering mental midget that resides in Evander Holyfield's body.  We all know why Evander fights - yes, child support for a full 53 man roster but why do you continue to make us wish for the days when you only held onto your opponent 25 times a round instead of the 52 of today?  Let's just hope you wear the gimp mask.  Do it for the kiddies nard dog.

Serious Article of the Week
Past their Prime
All too often boxers, fighters and 80s sitcom stars continue well past their prime.  Unlike television though, boxers who continue past their prime suffer long term damage that makes it's nearly impossible to enjoy watching them take said damage.  In all seriousness, boxing is a sport that is all too often very damaging to the participants.  Unlike most major professional sports, coaches, trainers and medical staff are not always qualified.  Boxers are encouraged to push through pain, injuries and fight when they are not ready or when they are overweight.  This leads to irrevocable damage that is often irreversible.  Most fighters are paid in peanuts (low end tickets) and are forced to train under grueling, substandard conditions.  For those that are fortunate enough to make it through the lean years and make it to a somewhat decent payday, they still face the thought of being a tailor made opponent for some rising star. 

With that in mind, here are my top modern fighters that fought well past their prime (the positioning is really interchangeable):

5. Roy Jones Jr.- For years we watched the magical grace, speed and bravado of one of the greatest light heavyweight fighters of our time.  At first I hated everything about Jones but as his career progressed, I began to understand the method to his madness.  Regardless, I always thought that his defense was atrocious and that one day he'd get caught.  After being asked if he had any excuses, Tarver turned out Jones' lights in round 2 of their second fight.  Jones was never the same, suffering a horrifying 9th round nap in his next fight against an aging Glen Johnson.  Extending his career well past his prime, Roy was once again put to pasture by closing his eyes in round 1 against a relative unknown.  The fight against the Nard Dog was an embarrassment to the sport.
61 fights, 404 rounds, 21 years

4. Mike Tyson - There's not a person on the planet that doesn't know the name Mike Tyson. Whether by his appearance on the movie The Hangover or the greatness that made him the youngest heavyweight champion ever, Mike Tyson is a required name in the history of history.  His early career was ferocious until Buster Douglas fought out of his mind in Tokyo to take the unified title and his invincibility away from him.  Tyson then became the golden goose for every con man in the game until his losses and tirades became embarrassing.  Prison made him a changed man and helped him to unleash his inner idiot as he threatened, stomped, cried and explained his way to a WWE stint.  A sad story, he persists finding new ways to reinvent himself.
58 fights, 217 rounds, 20 years

3. Roberto Duran - He was a nightmare to face at lightweight and was a bad dream fighting at 170 pounds.Once known for his rousing win against Sugar Ray Leonard, he became the greatest quitter of all time refusing to get off his stool after the eighth in the rematch with a phrase that gringos around the world utter, "no mas."  One can argue that after that fight, he was never the same.  He went on to lose against every big name in the 80s and 90s.  Hagler, Hearns, Leonard, Pazienza, Camacho and the knockout loss to William Joppy put a dark cloud over what was otherwise a stellar career.  The shining moment after the Leonard loss was winning the middleweight title against Iran Barkley only to lose it again 10 months later.
119 fights, 822 rounds, 33 years 

2. Muhammad Ali - 550 rounds and 21 years of combat summarized the self proclaimed "greatest" career.  He fought everyone in the book and became a giant killer.  You either loved him or hated him but in the end, we all begged someone in the arena to stop the beating he took from Larry Holmes.  While he was never truly knocked out, he took so much damage that it's been suggested he suffered Parkinson's disease from repeated shots to the head. While he was forced to take 3 of his best year's off between 1967 and 1970, the aging process stops for no one.
61 fights, 550 rounds, 21 years


1. Julio Cesar Chavez - Chavez embodies everything great about the Mexican people.  He was strong, tough, fast and enduring.  After 115 fights with over 630 rounds boxed in a career that spanned over 25 years, I'm surprised that the man can still breathe.  Of course, by the time he ran into Oscar DeLaHoya in 1996, he was already a shot fighter.  Their second fight was nothing more than a bloodbath as Chavez began bleeding early while Kostya Tszyu nearly killed him in their fight a few years later.  Promoter Bob Arum attempted to showcase a series of farewell fights but there's no senior's game in boxing.  It's doubtful that we'll ever see a fighter quite like him.  His style and strength in the ring is something that will never be forgotten.
115 fights, 630 rounds, 25 years

*Writer submissions accepted by email.  Please include a sample of your writing and qualifications.  Published submissions are paid up to $2 million per article.  Major articles/interviews receive compensation based on article placement.

Contact Information:
Aaron Weissenfluh - writer, publisher, editor, fighter, trainer, dude
aweissenfluh@gmail.com

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol 1.3 The Fighter

Welcome to week 3.  Honestly, I'm surprised I've stuck with it this long.  Nevertheless, I'm making it a habit and pressing forward.

First off, results from fights around the world that I neither witnessed or read about...which provides a fresh unbiased perspective:

Ridiculous Results:

• Shamone "The Truth" Alvarez brought tears to the eyes of Michael Jackson fans as he lost a split decision to Ghanaian Ayi Bruce, whose name sounds...well...fun.

And now the most ridiculous result ever:

• Oliver McCall def. Fres Oquendo, yes, you read that right

Oliver McCall, if you'll remember, was highlighted over and over throughout the career of one Lennox Lewis. McCall KO'd Lewis in the 2nd round of their first fight in 1994.  Three years later and the much anticipated rematch saw a weeping Oliver McCall wander the ring in between the 3rd, 4th and 5th rounds.  One minute into the 5th and McCall has his hands down and Mills Lane is forced to stop the fight. McCall later explained ''My strategy was -- and I know it sounds kind of absurd -- was a kind of rope-a-dope.''

Uh, ok.

McCall is now 45 - notable losses: Timur Ibragimov, Juan Carlos Gomez, DaVarryl Williamson (Great guy from Colorado whom I still call a friend), Lennox Lewis, Frank Bruno, Tony Tucker, Orlin Norris, Buster Douglas (yes, he's that old), some guy named Mike Hunter and some bouncer named Joey Christjohn.

Video Link: Tears are falling 

Fres Oquendo was once a contender.  He, however, succumbed to the powerless punching master of credit cards known as John Ruiz.  Granted, David Tua turned his head into a Pez dispenser 2 years prior but his losses include: Chris Byrd, John Ruiz, the geriatric Evander Holyfield, fat ass now MMA master James Toney (weighing in at 230lbs), then finally Jean Marc Momeck.

How they were fighting for the IBF Inter-Continential aka...Aaron's backyard fight championship...heavyweight title was beyond me.

Upcoming Matches to Follow:

Of course the biggest fight this weekend is in the UFC.

11 December 2010 - Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Kosheck
This is just another example of how the UFC is doing something right and the world of boxing doing everything wrong.  McCall vs. Oquendo or two guys who've never seen a rotary dial phone?

UFC Fight Link: Dec 11 Fight Card

St. Pierre is the Tiger Woods of MMA (minus the model wife who apparently lost her appeal).  He does everything right and doesn't back down from a challenge.  He trains hard and is a well balanced fighter who has a ton of energy who is always fun to watch.  Kosheck just has really weird hair at the moment.  I'd cheer against him regardless but the blond curly mop reminds me of that Finnegan character I mentioned last week.  I'm guessing that all too unmanly haircut is all the rage with athletes these days.

The undercard that I'm really excited about is Stefan Struve vs. Sean McCorkle. 

McCorkle has an Irish (or Scottish) sounding name so he's my obvious pick. In addition, he stands 6'7" and weighs 265 pounds.  What's more, his fighting name is, get this, "The Big Sexy." On the UFC site, he lists his strengths as Size, Strength and "very Internet Savvy."  This is truly a complete man who has won my allegiance.

Stefan Struve, who goes by the name Skyscraper, stands at 6'11" and is 238 pounds.  This match up is looking more like Yao Ming vs. Shaq than something you'd see in the UFC and I love it. 

Dingbat of the week:
Julian Assange.  Why?  Because he's detracting from all the news worthy news such as Mayweather being arrested or something to do with Tony Romo's lack of love life now that his shoulder/career has been demolished. For some reason I can't stop calling Tony Romo, Steve Bono.  (Apolo Anton Ohno, Sonny Bono, the real Bono...guess that's pronounced Baano)

Serious Article of the week (finally):
If you've stuck with me this long, you're a saint.  As you've probably witnessed over the past several weeks, the movie The Fighter, featuring Marky Mark and Batman, is due out this month.  The story is about one of the most entertaining, tough and rugged fighters of our era, Mickey Ward.  I first saw Mickey Ward in 1994 when he was in the midst of a four loss slump.  By that time, he had amassed a 21 win, 7 loss record, which by today's standards makes him a punching bag.  Ward plodded on regardless of the poundings and heartbreaking decisions knocking out his next five no-name opponents.  For his efforts, Ward earned a shot at the WBU Intercontinental Light Welterweight title.  Writing this title, I feel like the pedantic wanna be socialite ordering some sort of exotic coffee at Starbucks.

Ward won the title and went on a 9 fight winning streak until he came up against Vince Phillips, the 140 pound IBF champion.  The fight was called in the 3rd after nearly nine minutes of Ward bleeding all over Phillips.  That fight caught the attention of boxing "experts" and contenders throughout the world.  Ward, who marched forward with a typical "punch me five times and I'll punch you once" style, became a fan favorite.  He lost to Zab Judah in a boring run and hide fight but received another shot at a world title against a true Irishman from Ireland (not Boston) in none other than the city of London.  Ward made short work of Shea Neary knocking him out in the 8th by nearly taking his head off with a devastating right hook that made me laugh, spit out beer then cry two tears.

I was happy for Mickey but his success would not last more than five months.  He was robbed in a fight against Antonio Diaz that was so close that only a French figure skating judge could make the call.  After that fight, I figured that the dejected Ward would pull up his tent stakes and go the way of Joey Gamache, another north eastern fighter who suffered one of the most horrifying knockouts I'd ever seen by the hands of none other than Arturo Gatti.  While I truly loved Gatti, I hated to see Gamache in that state.  Gatti had miraculously weighed in the night before at 140 pounds then somehow gained 20 plus pounds in 24 hours.  The fight was basically a middle weight against a lightweight.  A word of caution, if you've not seen this before, it's a truly horrible knockout.

Gamache vs. Gatti KO

After Ward's loss to Diaz, he was back in the ring with Jesse James Leija who had just pummeled baby Camacho to a "No Contest."  The fight was stopped on cuts after the 4th and went to the score cards.  Ward, once again was on the short end.  Again, his career looked to be over but HBO devised a non-title contest between Gatti and Ward, two punchers who gave up the art of ducking.  It was Italian vs. Irish and the country became polarized.  You were either a Gatti fan or a Ward fan.  I was in the Gatti camp as I had been for ten plus years but Ward dashed my hopes by beating Gatti in 10 rounds of brutal action.  It was designated as the fight of the year by HBO.  Both fighters landed in the hospital but for some strange reason, they were back at it again within seven months.

The second fight was another brutal match up.  World champions such as Mayweather, were all but forgotten during this time period.  The country was no longer polarized as we all fell in love with the fighters and the match.  The Morales vs. Barrera fight paled in comparison to Gatti/Ward.  All fights in the history of the sport would be compared to this perfectly matched fight.  Gatti took the second fight and again, both fighters ended up in the hospital.  Seven months later and they were back at it again.  Ward took over 350 punches and ended up in the hospital.  Gatti won the rubber match but both fighters lost a piece of themselves. Following the fight, in which he said was his last, Ward clearly stated, "why'd I pick this sport?"

Video Link: Postfight - Mickey Ward

In the hospital, both fighters laughed and talked while sitting in beds adjacent to each other.  They became life long friends with Ward attending the rest of Gatti's fights.  Gatti died in July 2009 in what was called a suicide but what many believe to be murder. 

"I was absolutely stunned -- I couldn't believe it, it's still kind of hard to believe," Ward told ESPN's Brian Kenny. "It's really hard to take."

Ward went on to say,  "When we went in there and we fought, we tried to take each other's head off, but outside the ring we had respect for each other," Ward said. "After the three fights we had it built into a better friendship, a long-lasting relationship."

I just hope the movie "The Fighter" due out on December 17th does both Mickey Ward AND Arturo Gatti justice.

The Fighter

 *Writer submissions accepted by email.  Please include a sample of your writing and qualifications.  Published submissions are paid up to $20 per article.  Major articles/interviews receive compensation based on article placement.

Contact Information:
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aweissenfluh@gmail.com

Fight Features with Aaron Weissenfluh Vol. 1.2 Outside the Ring

 To start things off this week, here are the results that are making headlines. 
Ridiculous Results:

• Ricky Hatton's younger, uglier brother Matthew "Magic" Hatton KO'd the light slapping Roberto Belge in the 3rd round. 
• Wale "coolest name ever" Omotso KO'd career loser Juan Alberto Godoy in the 4th to win the vacant IBF Pan Pacific welterweight title. 
• Andre Berto defeated Freddy Hernandez in a 12 round boring fight.  

Fight of the week: I honestly felt bad for Paul Williams as he lay face down on the canvas after being cracked with what sounded like a two by four slapping the back side of Iron Man's impenetrable suit.  Williams was on his way to another victory (after the first round) using a smart jab and moving his feet but in the world of boxing, leave your right hand low while throwing a left hook and you're going to look like an infant sleeping in a crib.  The old saying goes, "never hook with a hooker."

Dingbat of the week: Cortland Finnegan (Tennessee Titans), a guy with a name that sounds as if he's stepped in the ring somewhere in the Northeast back in 1892 got a beat down from the wild punching Andre Johnson (Houston Texans).  This, of course, all happened on the 40 yard line. While witnessing the 2.5 punch fight I nearly urinated all over myself laughing when Finnegan's excuse for a haircut popped out of his helmet as if it were a muppet making a break for freedom.  Also, as with most, if not all, professional athletes that play in leagues that start with the letter N, their punching reminds me more of the softball throw in the special olympics than a fight.

Dingbat 1: Cortland Finnegan's hair
Dingbat 2: Andre Johnson for blowing an opportunity to knock the Don King of football out.

A Big Thanks:
I want to thank Michael Jackson for inventing the word shamone in one of his songs.  I don't remember which song(s) it first debuted but without it, welterweight Shamone "The Truth" Alvarez, who is fighting this coming Saturday in Atlantic City, wouldn't have such a cool name.  Instead, he'd probably be known as Harold "The Guy" Alvarez and where's the fun in that?  I'm pulling for this guy as I think he's got a good chance at becoming a household name.

Serious Article of the Week:
In many gyms throughout the United States, the concept of fighting outside the ring is not tolerated.  Cobra Kai was the exception and while Johnny Lawrence beat the 35 year old child impersonator Ralph Macchio down, in the end, the tables were turned a full 360 degrees in reverse.  In all seriousness though, boxers are ill prepared for fights outside the ring.  They don't have the opportunity to wrap their hands (Floyd Mayweather), they usually don't know how to kick and wrestling is something they've probably not thought of.  There are exceptions to every rule but overall, fighting outside the ring is not advised for strict, non-martial arts, non-MMA boxers. However, here are some of the greatest fights that occured outside the ring:

5. Former Champion and boxing pioneer Christy Martin vs. Husband
Less than a week ago, Christy Martin was not only stabbed but shot by her 66 year old husband after an altercation.  She survived because the old fart shot AND stabbed her in the leg.  Marry a female boxer and traditional abuse is out of the question.  Her husband James is still on loose.

4. Garcia vs. Hernandez
Most people outside of boxing have never heard the name Robert Garcia (formerly Roberto Garcia).  Last year, the 34 year old former champion was arrested for beating up 22 year old Jose Lorenzo Fernandez Hernandez proving that four names is not better than three. This is actually a fight I would've enjoyed immensely as long as either Emmanuel Steward or George Foreman were required to state the full names of the fighters at least 3 times per round.

3. Floyd Mayweather vs. Ex-girlfriend, then Security Guard
Light punching Floyd Mayweather laid down the law by allegedly pulling his ex-girlfriend's hair, twisting her arm then punching her in the head.  First of all, come on man.  You're allegedly a multi-millionaire (with an IRS debt the size of Peru's GNP) so why do you have to hit a woman?  Second, hair pulling?  Seriously?  The arm twist I can understand as it's a good method of self defense but hair pulling?

Within a year, Floyd was at it again poking a security guard in the face.  While I can imagine the security guard rolling around on the ground like that camera man that Dennis Rodman kicked, the least he could have done was slap him in the face and recite a line from the Chappelle Show.  That would make him one of my favorite boxers of all time.

2. Simms vs. Simms
In one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read, boxer brothers Travis and Tarvis Simms (yes, you read that right), were arrested for fighting....wait for it....EACH OTHER.  What's worse is that Travis' (not Tarvis') 10 year old daughter was "bitten on the arm when she tried to intervene as the twins were rolling around on the kitchen floor." Yet another reason I'll probably never get to Connecticut.  Too many biters there.

1. "Iron" Mike Tyson vs. Mitch "Blood" Green
In 1988, the media was witness to the one punch bloody beat down of Mitch "Blood" Green by none other than Iron Mike Tyson.  This was not the current Mike Tyson that's become a well trained movie star.  No, this was the Mike Tyson that destroyed careers with one punch.  Picking a fight with Mike in the parking lot of a nightclub was like walking up to a pissed off, hungry lion, slapping him on the nose, calling him Jerry Springer then sticking your head in his mouth. Two years earlier though, Green had lost a unanimous decision against Mike which gave him the courage of the lion tamer from the Curious George books.  Within weeks of the incident, Mike destroyed Frank Bruno in London and  bloody Green got $45,000 for his troubles. They never fought again in or out of the ring.   

 This is not Rick James and no, he's not winking.

Upcoming major matches to follow:
The company non-denominational, non-specific holiday party is this weekend, so there's nothing that I'll get around to watching. 

Interviews & Insights
*Regional and national interviews will be conducted soon. Do you have a fighter, trainer, promoter or boxing enthusiast that you'd like to showcase here?  Please submit contact information by email.

*Writer submissions accepted by email.  Please include a sample of your writing and qualifications.  Published submissions are paid up to $20 per article.  Major articles/interviews receive compensation based on article placement.

Contact Information:
Aaron Weissenfluh - writer, publisher, editor, fighter, trainer, dude
aweissenfluh@gmail.com