Ridiculous Results:
- Ricky Hatton's younger, uglier brother Matthew "Magic" Hatton KO'd the light slapping Roberto Belge in the 3rd round.
- Wale "coolest name ever" Omotso KO'd career loser Juan Alberto Godoy in the 4th to win the vacant IBF Pan Pacific welterweight title.
- Andre Berto defeated Freddy Hernandez in a 12 round boring fight.
Dingbat of the week: Cortland Finnegan (Tennessee Titans), a guy with a name that sounds as if he's stepped in the ring somewhere in the Northeast back in 1892 got a beat down from the wild punching Andre Johnson (Houston Texans). This, of course, all happened on the 40 yard line. While witnessing the 2.5 punch fight I nearly urinated all over myself laughing when Finnegan's excuse for a haircut popped out of his helmet as if it were a muppet making a break for freedom. Also, as with most, if not all, professional athletes that play in leagues that start with the letter N, their punching reminds me more of the softball throw in the special olympics than a fight.
Dingbat 1: Cortland Finnegan's hair
Dingbat 2: Andre Johnson for blowing an opportunity to knock the Don King of football out.
A Big Thanks:
I want to thank Michael Jackson for inventing the word shamone in one of his songs. I don't remember which song(s) it first debuted but without it, welterweight Shamone "The Truth" Alvarez, who is fighting this coming Saturday in Atlantic City, wouldn't have such a cool name. Instead, he'd probably be known as Harold "The Guy" Alvarez and where's the fun in that? I'm pulling for this guy as I think he's got a good chance at becoming a household name.
Serious Article of the Week:
In many gyms throughout the United States, the concept of fighting outside the ring is not tolerated. Cobra Kai was the exception and while Johnny Lawrence beat the 35 year old child impersonator Ralph Macchio down, in the end, the tables were turned a full 360 degrees in reverse. In all seriousness though, boxers are ill prepared for fights outside the ring. They don't have the opportunity to wrap their hands (Floyd Mayweather), they usually don't know how to kick and wrestling is something they've probably not thought of. There are exceptions to every rule but overall, fighting outside the ring is not advised for strict, non-martial arts, non-MMA boxers. However, here are some of the greatest fights that occured outside the ring:
5. Former Champion and boxing pioneer Christy Martin vs. Husband
Less than a week ago, Christy Martin was not only stabbed but shot by her 66 year old husband after an altercation. She survived because the old fart shot AND stabbed her in the leg. Marry a female boxer and traditional abuse is out of the question. Her husband James is still on loose.
4. Garcia vs. Hernandez
Most people outside of boxing have never heard the name Robert Garcia (formerly Roberto Garcia). Last year, the 34 year old former champion was arrested for beating up 22 year old Jose Lorenzo Fernandez Hernandez proving that four names is not better than three. This is actually a fight I would've enjoyed immensely as long as either Emmanuel Steward or George Foreman were required to state the full names of the fighters at least 3 times per round.
3. Floyd Mayweather vs. Ex-girlfriend, then Security Guard
Light punching Floyd Mayweather laid down the law by allegedly pulling his ex-girlfriend's hair, twisting her arm then punching her in the head. First of all, come on man. You're allegedly a multi-millionaire (with an IRS debt the size of Peru's GNP) so why do you have to hit a woman? Second, hair pulling? Seriously? The arm twist I can understand as it's a good method of self defense but hair pulling?
Within a year, Floyd was at it again poking a security guard in the face. While I can imagine the security guard rolling around on the ground like that camera man that Dennis Rodman kicked, the least he could have done was slap him in the face and recite a line from the Chappelle Show. That would make him one of my favorite boxers of all time.
2. Simms vs. Simms
In one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read, boxer brothers Travis and Tarvis Simms (yes, you read that right), were arrested for fighting....wait for it....EACH OTHER. What's worse is that Travis' (not Tarvis') 10 year old daughter was "bitten on the arm when she tried to intervene as the twins were rolling around on the kitchen floor." Yet another reason I'll probably never get to Connecticut. Too many biters there.
1. "Iron" Mike Tyson vs. Mitch "Blood" Green
In 1988, the media was witness to the one punch bloody beat down of Mitch "Blood" Green by none other than Iron Mike Tyson. This was not the current Mike Tyson that's become a well trained movie star. No, this was the Mike Tyson that destroyed careers with one punch. Picking a fight with Mike in the parking lot of a nightclub was like walking up to a pissed off, hungry lion, slapping him on the nose, calling him Jerry Springer then sticking your head in his mouth. Two years earlier though, Green had lost a unanimous decision against Mike which gave him the courage of the lion tamer from the Curious George books. Within weeks of the incident, Mike destroyed Frank Bruno in London and bloody Green got $45,000 for his troubles. They never fought again in or out of the ring.
Upcoming major matches to follow:
The company non-denominational, non-specific holiday party is this weekend, so there's nothing that I'll get around to watching.
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Contact Information:
Aaron Weissenfluh - writer, publisher, editor, fighter, trainer, dude
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